Four Inane Questions with Hamburger Mary’s Jeff Edmondson

Photo Courtesy of Jeff Edmondson

Let’s all raise a glass to Jeff Edmondson—the managing owner of two of Kansas City’s favorite LGBTQ+-owned hotspots, Hamburger Mary’s Kansas City and Woody’s KC. If you’re not reading this article without a cocktail or mocktail in your hand, Edmondson says he can remedy that… stat!

Prior to being the hardest working man in hospitality, Edmonson tells us his specialty was media brand management. It’s no wonder his two restaurant bars are marketed and promoted within an inch of their lives.

When asked how his foray into being a restaurateur came to be, Edmonson was quick to tell the tale. “When my husband, Eric, who is an MD, announced in 2009 that he was buying a Hamburger Mary’s franchise and bringing it to Kansas City, I thought ‘I love that journey for you,’” he says with a laugh.

But a little more than a year after Mary’s opened, Edmondson took over the reins. Now his drinkeries are popular gathering spots for drag shows, watch parties, general merriment, and mayhem.

Edmondson adds he and Dr. Eric have been partners for over seventeen years and have a life partner, Beau, with whom they’ve been together for over six years. Their house is also rife with three rowdy French bulldogs. “They keep our lives extremely busy and adventurous,” says Edmondson.

We caught up with the barkeep/DJ extraordinaire as he was up to his eyeballs in Pride events to query him with our whackadoo questionnaire. He fixed himself a double martini before answering. Bless.

Photo Courtesy of Jeff Edmondson

The Pitch: What is the single best sitcom episode ever made in the history of TV?

Jeff Edmondson: Hands down, it’s the 1970s-era Thanksgiving episode of WKRP In Cincinnati. In the episode, the dingbat news director, Les Nesman, is reporting live on the scene at a shopping center covering the WKRP “turkey giveaway” promotion.

As the event proceeds, Les describes on the air the scene as live turkeys are dropped from a circling helicopter onto the crowd below them—domesticated turkeys that are incapable of flight! Sadly, the turkeys fall to their untimely deaths as the crowds run for their lives. Les Nesman’s description of the scene is classic and hilarious.

I remember watching that when I was a kid and I laughed so hard I lost my recently eaten dinner.

If you were a weed, what weed would you be?

That’s easy. I’d be a dandelion, for quite a few reasons. Dandelions are one of the most “infectious” weeds in the lawn. They get everywhere and grow like crazy! And if you pull a dandelion plant from the ground and don’t get the full tap root up, then it will just grow back, bigger and better than ever.

On the other hand, it’s just fun to pick the dandelion puffballs, blow on them, and watch the puffs float away in the wind. And—fun fact—did you know that there is no part of a dandelion that isn’t completely edible? They’re a miracle weed: hard to kill, fun to play with, and completely nourishing. That’s kind of how I want to be.

Photo Courtesy of Jeff Edmondson

You see yourself on the cover of the National Enquirer. What’s the headline?

“Infamous, Naughty Hamburger Restaurant Owner Grinds His Meat For A Really Good Time.” 

IYKYK—because at Hamburger Mary’s, we’re all about the innuendo, so naturally the headline should also imply something that it might not actually mean. Or it could be read multiple ways depending on which way your brain is thinking at the moment.

At Mary’s, it’s about great food and good times, but served up with a healthy side of sass and wink, wink! My National Enquirer headline should follow suit.

What’s the ideal amount of money to win in the lottery? 

$40,000,000. If I won that, I’d take the immediate cash payout, which gives me roughly $20 million. Uncle Sam comes in and swipes what he says he is owed, which is about a quarter of that, leaving me with about $15 million. I give a million away to charities, and then each of our four children would also get one million.

That would leave me with $10 million that I’d invest into a diversified portfolio which would likely yield between 5 to 8 percent annually. That’s between $500,000 to $800,000 a year just in interest. I could buy that dream home in Palm Springs and easily live the rest of my life comfortably on that kind of annual residual income.

Bonus 5th Question: Describe—in detail—the perfect cup of coffee.

For me, it’s pretty simple. I don’t do any of the frou-frou stuff. I’m a simple guy who likes simple things. Fresh brewed, one sugar, with cream. Or just black coffee is fine, too.