Four Inane Questions with drag queen Tajma Stetson

Tajma Stetson. // Courtesy photo

There are a substantial number of boxes that Tajma Stetson checks. Coffee snob, check. Golden Girls superfan, check. Beethoven lover, check. 

 Known affectionately as KC’s only supermodel, Stetson Is most known for putting the “queen” in drag queen. She’s won several big pageants, including Miss Gay United States 2019 and, more recently, Miss Gay Missouri America 2022. 

She tells us she’s “passionate about fighting the stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS and works consistently with KC’s AIDS Service Foundation.” Stetson is also an established clarinetist in Kansas City’s classical music and jazz scenes—you know, when she’s not being uproariously irreverent, hosting booze-filled drag shows around the metro. 

We caught up with Stetson while walking her two pups, Bennie and Bjorn. (Because, of course, those are their names.) We think she was a fan of our queer query of insipid questions. The jury’s still out on her dogs, however. 

The Pitch: What’s your surefire way to shut down a drunk patron/heckler?

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Tajma Stetson: A heckler is motivated by getting attention. It comes with the territory when you’re in the business of show, and the best way to deal with it is to include them in the spotlight for their 15 seconds. If the handling is done well, they can contribute to the comedy of the show, whether they’re in on the joke (at their expense) or not. 

If they’re making my fellow performers or my audience uncomfortable, then serious intervention is needed, and they can usually be settled with a dose of attention before showing them the door. 

What sport would you kill to have front-row seats at? 

Except for loving groups of men in uniform, I’m not one for sportsball. However, I would love to be front row at a figure skating competition. Yes, it’s cliché. (I can hear your eyes rolling.)  

But I love what my people have loved ever since I first saw Elvis Stojko’s tighter-than-tight pants and Surya Bonaly’s backflip to gag the judges. I gasp at the glitzy costumery, the sweeping Rachmaninoff accompaniment, the daring triple jump combinations, Biellmann spins, flesh-tone skates, ballet buns, and, of course, the deity that is Michelle Kwan.

What’s the single worst pattern print in the history of clothing patterns? 

The pattern I’m seeing is not a fabric print but a trending pattern. I love that ’90s fashion is back in a bold way. It reminds me of a time when I was discovering what fashionable personal expression was. We had Naomi, Linda, and “the Supers” stomping the runways in Karl’s ultra-lux Chanel and Gianni’s sexed-up Versace. Even Seattle’s grunge had a place in fashion houses.

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But now, the kids are shopping at thrift stores to find the worst of ’90s clothing. It’s as if they walk into A.T.C. and seek only the most tattered, most thrown-up-on, and palest 90s items without ever having listened to Nirvana. I hate it. Let’s see the 90s glamour on you, girl!  

What wig should you absolutely toss out but simply refuse to do so? 

Because I’ve been dressing to dazzle for many years, I have been able to refine my look to my imagination of the Tajma Stetson standard. In other words, I simply don’t wear wigs that look bad on me—so I don’t have any to toss out. 

Now, don’t get me twisted, there have been some wardrobing moments over the years that were a toss-out after only one wear—like my not-so-virginal-Mary look from the 2012 Miss Mistletoe pageant and the two times I attempted neon green. (Ew, David!) Emerald is a much more regal tone and was photographed on me when I was Miss Gay United States 2019 by local photog fave Vixen Pin Up Photography. 

Bonus 5th Question: What song makes you change the radio station immediately? 

Unpopular opinion—anything by Bruno Mars. When his songs first came on the scene, I was delighted. But as more of his catalog was launched to the radio waves, the more I thought all the tracks sound the same—the same throwback vibe, the same key, the same strained high notes, the same Oooh-Oooh-Ohs with a less-than-motivated groove. It’s a formula that can only make “24K Magic” so many times. 

Maybe I should “Leave the Door Open” to more of his B-sides?