Fired Up

It’s worth noting how particularly abhorrent a movie like Fired Up is. Not content to be just another dumb high-school flick, it’s actually teaching young, virginal viewers to treat women like stupid, submissive slut-cattle for the rest of their lives. Bored of banging every last chick in school, horny football studs Shawn (Nicholas D’Agosto) and Nick (Eric Christian Olsen) ditch their team for a couple of weeks of cheer camp, where they will be the only straight dudes in a sea of 600 tits, er … 300 cheerleaders. They’re basically the same insipid conquistador, except Nick is the more officious schemer, and Shawn is the science whiz who helps all the (brainless) girls with their homework. Learning a few cheers but never punished for their piggish insolence, Nick eventually wins over an older coach (Molly Sims) with his secret poetry, and Shawn falls in love with squad leader Carly (Sarah Roemer) because she’s the only girl who didn’t want to whore around on first sight. We’re light-years away from Animal House, sure, but who ever thought we would long for the richer, funnier dignity of American Pie?