Find whoever buys this and punch them in the face

Have you noticed a lot of wealthy dudes in Tommy Bahama shorts aimlessly shuffling around the Plaza like zombies since the Sharper Image closed? Without a retailer willing to sell them novelty, high-end, status symbols at four-figure prices, their lives have no meaning. What will become of them if they can’t buy a toilet seat from a decommissioned Soviet Union submarine?!  Fear not, guys. Local auction company Manion’s international has something equally stupid and costly for you.

Until May 26, Manion’s is holding an auction for a box, allegedly made in the 1800s, containing a single shot revolver with silver bullets, vials of holy water, wolf’s bane, potions, several crucifixes, a sharp stake, and everything you’d need to kill a vampire or werewolf. It’s a monster hunting kit.