Festival Review: Kansas City Renaissance Festival

By FLANNERY CASHILL

Yoo-hoo!

As a kid, I felt enchanted by Ren Fest. As an adult, I remember that my dad paid for that enchantment. Most renaissance festivals have degenerated into anachronistic mini-malls, an arcade of hand-crafted, hand-whittled, hand-blown bullshit. Ours may thrive on money misspent, but it’s still a bargain.

A donation to Harvesters earns you two-for-one admission, and the student ID policy is lax. A leper rattles through the fairgrounds, free of charge. At any moment, there are a dozen live shows, ranging from bush league, drama student sing-a-longs to elaborately orchestrated sword fights. The petting zoo only charges for kibble, ample photo opportunities await, and in this year’s “barbarian pit” you can hit a child with a foam bat for free.

The “barbarian pit” is part of a larger barbarian theme. In general, it gives the fair an uneasy atmosphere, one that teems with the possibility of spontaneous, child-on-child violence. “Point goes to the young man in the Nautica shirt!” There’s a sadistic edge to this year’s fair lacking in previous years; I remember the year of the faerie as middling, at best. And in one grotto, you can have your photo taken upon a throne of skulls and femurs. I did.