Everyone Is Just Jealous: Studies in Crap Brings it On With 1983’s CHEERLEADING!

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

CHEERLEADING!

Author: Pauline Finberg & Peter Filichia

Publisher: Scholastic

Date: 1983

Discovered at: Used book store in Winnipeg, Manitoba

The Cover Promises: Kali takes on many forms.

Representative Quotes: “How’s your enunciation? If you have a tendency to say ‘comin’ instead of ‘coming,’ ‘jist’ instead of ‘just,’ and ‘whoosh’ instead of ‘wish,’ it’s time to get to work at improving your diction.” (page 2)

“Do you have average looks? That’s right — average. Don’t assume that you must be dazzling … If you don’t believe this, take a look at the squad of cheerleaders in your school. You may find a few knockouts, but there most likely will be some boys and girls who are average kids.” (page 3)