Every time you play this, the baby Jesus cries

Christian crunk-core act Family Force 5 released a Christmas album back in October. It’s called Family Force 5’s Christmas Pageant, and has the dubious distinction of being despised by both my wife and my cats. My wife, upon entering our house while it was playing, wrinkled her nose and asked what was playing in the same tone one asks “who forgot to flush?”

This is a woman who has tolerated everything from Japanese straight-edge hardcore to four-disc Elvis box sets without complaint. The cats just tried to shred my ankles every time I got near them.

“Carol of the Bells” is something like a punishment. I wasn’t able to make it but halfway through the album before removing it from the stereo and regretting ever having said, “yes, I’d love a copy for review.”