Don’t Diss the Jay
Don’t Diss the Jay
It’s been a whole four years since former University of Kansas coach Roy Williams gave Larrytown the ol’ heave-ho and bounded happily into a head coaching job at his alma mater, the University of North Carolina. And now he’s back. At least, the image of his growling face is. Staring down on the streets of Kansas City. Immortalized.
That’s right, Williams has been given a prominent spot on the exterior of the College Basketball Hall of Fame, still under construction next to the glass radial that is the Sprint Center.
To help the hall make this its only slight against Kansas City’s KU fans, we’ve compiled a list of other things that should or shouldn’t be included inside the hallowed walls of the new facility.
· It is acceptable to mention that KU has won two national titles in men’s basketball. It should not be mentioned that the school’s last title was in 1988. There is no reason to rub it in that almost two decades have passed. And there is certainly no reason to mention that the previous victory came in 1952.
· The late, great James Naismith invented basketball and then went on to coach it at KU. These facts are as sacred as the image of Mohammad. Did Naismith have a losing record while a coach at KU? Don’t go there.
· There are acceptable ways to refer to former KU coach Forrest Clare “Phog” Allen. The preferred nomenclature is the “Father of Basketball Coaching.” KU alumni may also affectionately refer to the maestro of B-ball as “Phog” or “Doc.” Never acceptable: Clare.
· Naturally, there will be a room dedicated to KU within the hall. Proper attire in this cavernous room: any items emblazoned with a Big Jay or a Baby Jay. All clothing items — golf shirt, warm-up pants, fanny pack — must be bright blue and red (exception: clothing that matches Big Jay’s canary-yellow beak). Unacceptable items include anything that mentions Aggieville, schools that refer to themselves with double-Zs or any clothing items depicting bovine horns.
· Though we recognize that the museum is in Missouri, any mention or likeness of William Quantrill may result in the sacking and burning of the city of Columbia, because they’ve had it coming.
