Disney’s Haunted Mansion lacks the soul required to reanimate this DOA disaster

Once upon a time, Disney lorded over Hollywood when it came to family-friendly movies and TV. Lately, it’s become an also-ran.

Many of their current successes have more to do with the companies and properties they’ve purchased (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Marvel Studios, Pixar, etc.) than titles that are all their own.

It’s as if they don’t know what to do with their own IP anymore other than recycle it to diminishing returns. Case in point: Haunted Mansion, the studio’s third attempt to turn the beloved Disneyland ride into a successful film, and another befuddling, timewaster of a movie.

Single mom Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and her precocious son Travis (Chase W. Dillion) need a new start after a tough year. When a Zillow deal for a gothic mansion outside New Orleans pops up, they see it as a sign. The only problem? It’s inhabited by 999 ghosts. Gabbie enlists the help of Father Kent (Owen Wilson), a laid-back priest. Needing proof of the ghosts before he can perform an exorcism, Ken goes in search of former astrophysicist Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield), who developed a photo lens that can capture a ghost’s image. 

When their first house visit is unsuccessful, Ben and Kent assemble a (budget-conscious) dream team of specialists, including psychic Harriett (Tiffany Haddish), and Bruce Davis (Danny DeVito), a professor who’s dedicated his life to researching the mansion. Everyone in the group has a convoluted backstory or secret, ranging from medical conditions to grief to imposter syndrome. But they’ll need to put aside their past and differences if they want to thwart the dark specter of The Hatbox Ghost (Jared Leto) and raise the curse that looms over the house.

Haunted Mansion features gateway horror-level scares, enough to thrill kids and make them feel like they’re seeing something freaky, with the edges sanded down to make it Disney-friendly. The PG-13 rating has more to do with the movie’s stellar ghost designs and macabre descriptions of death. In addition to outstanding spectral designs, Haunted Mansion features an extended out-of-body sequence into the spirit realm that truly brings the Disney attraction to life.

However, these bits get muddled by an inconsistent tone that favors Scooby-Doo antics over legitimate scares.

Emerging from all these goofy spectral shenanigans, Stanfield’s Ben stands tall as the best part of Haunted Mansion. Ben’s emotional journey—he’s a widower whose grief turned him into a skeptic—is too good for everything that surrounds it. Yet, as with all things in the film, the tone undercuts the substance, as when Ben asks if he can call a female ghost with a habit for beheadings “ghost bae.”

You could easily blame the movie’s shortcomings on director Justin Simien (Bad Hair, Dear White People) or screenwriter Katie Dippold (2016’s Ghostbusters) if Haunted Mansion‘s issues didn’t stink of studio interference. Big-billed actors only receive 30 seconds of screen time. Oddly aggressive product placement rears its head at inopportune times. Some ghosts have elaborate backstories, while others just stand there. The movie is happy to jump from discussions of blood sacrifices to a clear raincoat-clad DeVito catching shrimp in his mouth at a Japanese steakhouse. It makes for a confounding and messy experience.

While it’s hard to be too tough on a movie marketed to families, those families deserve better than Haunted Mansion. Kids will enjoy the slapstick and ghoulies. Parents (and everyone else) must sit through a visually stylish film that quickly flies off the rails. Like Leto’s looming Hatbox Ghost, this movie lacks a soul to make it whole.