Daily J. Briefs, Esq.

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For various reasons, I’ve become incredibly familiar with the principles of Pavlovian conditioning and their utility in training people, I mean dogs, to perform simple tasks. So the AMAZING REWARD at the end of today’s Daily Briefs should not be construed as a “prize” for reading the whole thing, but rather as a conditioned reinforcer that will increase the likelihood of similar behavior in the future. Furthermore, telling you in advance that today’s entry has an AMAZING REWARD at the end should also not be construed as a preemptive attempt to get you to read the whole thing. The way it works is, you read Daily Briefs and then suddenly, at the very end, SOMETHING AWESOME enters your brain via your optic nerve and travels directly to the connective pathways between your nucleus accumbens and septum pellucidum, forever associating Daily Briefs with a jolt to your pleasure center. I am also required by the federal Children’s Internet Protection Act (CIPA) to affirm that this reward is not pornographic in nature.

Look, I know you could jump straight to the entry by clicking the image below, and then just scroll to the end to get your AWESOME PRIZE without actually reading any of the copy, thereby throwing a grip wrench into the delicate gears of the whole admittedly unscrupulous operation. I know it. You know it. But we’re all grown-ups, here, with self-control, maturity and behavioral manipulability via sub-ethical mechanistic principles of forward conditioning. COME ON, GROW UP. After the jump, the electoral college, Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser and AN AWESOME REWARD. Click here, or here:

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