Daily Briefs: TV News Jedi, KU vs. Vikings, Man Bites Mortar

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By ERIC BARTON

Ash-har, I am your father. It’s a sad day for the city’s “investigative” TV news reporters, who won’t have retiring Independence Police Chief Fred Mills to kick around anymore. And it’s a sad day for Daily Briefs, which won’t be able to make fun of the “blockbuster” investigations that TV news reporters often turned in from Independence.

But don’t shed a tear for Channel 5’s Ash-har Quraishi. He’s got the TV news equivalent of a safety school lined up: a lucrative career selling light sabers!

The force is not strong in this one. KU begins the tournament against the top-ranked Portland State Vikings. No, wait. I had the bracket upside down. I am so going to lose the office pool.

The dark side is a path to getting yourself blown up at a scrap yard. The Fort Riley bomb squad was called out to a Kansas City scrap yard yesterday to remove an 8-inch mortar round.

Even a Sith lord wouldn’t do this. A guy from Wichita will serve sixth months for having a sex with a dog, making him immediately the least-popular guy in prison. Joshua Coman was already on probation for a similar crime in Reno. This story could be helpful for the Fort Riley bomb squad, which is probably wondering what it can do with an 8-inch mortar shell.