Daily Briefs: The First 100 Days

By CHRIS PACKHAM

Somewhere to the right of this block of text, there’s a category link for Daily Briefs, which today has the number 100 next to it. One hundred days and some nonworking weekends ago, we had the idea — a mistaken one, in retrospect — that snotty daily commentary about local media would be the quickest Mario beanstalk warp zone to the satisfaction of all five levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in one fell swoop of cocaine-fueled sex parties and shopping for yachts at the marina from the comfort of a private helicopter. It has to be said that this has been only a partial success; though I’m still subsisting on WIC-approved tuna, I have been prescribed Ritalin, which confers a cocaine-like high when pulverized and snorted through a rolled-up low-denomination bill. What follows, below the jump which you SIMPLY MUST CLICK — is a postmortem analysis of Daily Briefs successes and failures in satisfying Maslow’s hierarchy.

Categories: News