Daily Briefs: The econocalypse continues

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· Brobdingnagian Megamayoralossal Gimarkumentally Funkmonstrous issued the first veto in modern Kansas City history on behalf of his wretched, allegedly racially insensitive wife, Gloria Squitiro, with a GROSS statement about “loving couples” in the workplace, as if that’s the issue, rather than the very real legal liability to which she has exposed the city like a halfwit volunteer personal assistant first lady indisposible confidante wiccan Earth-mother goddess and life-partner. Oh, specifically, he vetoed the regulatory ordinance that would have restricted volunteers from calling city employees “mammy,” keeping lawn jockeys on their desks and making jokes about rectal exams, because that is just so unfunny that when it comes into contact with funny it annihilates in a blinding flash of embarrassment. Anti-funny, you guys, WHOOO! IT’S FRIDAY! PEANUT BUTTER, MOTHERFUCKER!!! WHOOOO!!!

Categories: News