Daily Briefs: Thanks, y’all

%{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4b89121ca96b961e23″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%My favorite new trick, which I learned from the political campaign season, is to ask a question that has absolutely no basis in reality — “Does Barack Obama love his country?” — and then, without actually validating that sentiment, just say, “I really think we have to ask that question.” A rhetorical dick move? Sure. I’m a practical man, y’all, whatever works. That’s why, following the footprints in the sand of Christianity’s L. Ron Hubbard, Jesus, I will not cast the first stone at the Joplin kid who shot his grandma with an air rifle. For one thing, you’d be surprised how much you can achieve when you make eye contact with a spouse, a prospective employer or a grandmother down the sight of an air rifle. A backrub, a job or a pan of brownies, respectively. Was this kid’s grandma failing to meet his brownie needs? Or was she, as the kid’s father claimed, “Crazy,” and likely to shoot herself with an air rifle just to get her grandson in trouble? I really think we have to ask that question.

After the jump, a look at everything I’m thankful for. Click here or here or I’ma put a CAP IN YOUR ASS, GRANDMA: