Daily Briefs: Sun-baked garbage and Funkhouser’s declining popularity (NO SQUITIRO)

By CHRIS PACKHAM

It’s Thursday, which means we’re one day closer to the release of the summer’s best movie. %{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4c89121ca96b962308″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}% I don’t mean to sound like a geek, but I’ve been lining my whole collection of American Girl dolls up on the dresser every night and organizing a pretend-quorum regarding who’s the cutest: Shia Labeouf or Chace Crawford. Oh, I know it’s really no contest, but li’l Addy Walker gets so worked up when I pretend that Shia’s hair isn’t weird or indescribable. She’s adorable! That just about wraps up all my irony about little girls at this point; after the jump, a succession of other easy targets including, but not limited to, old people, the blind and baby animals. As a psychological test for which you will be judged and treated accordingly, you may click on either of the following images to continue:

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