Daily Briefs: Stupid people control everything

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Your job had to go live on a farm where it plays with goats and puppies. So while we’re all pretending that the economy is like “the weather,” and “just happens,” and is therefore completely unaffected by human behavior or fiscal policies such as — FOR EXAMPLE — passing massive tax cuts while simultaneously conducting two unbelievably expensive wars and deregulating the financial industry, and also while we’re pretending that we’re lookin’ gooo-oood by sucking in our guts and wearing baggy clothes to conceal the distended herniated flipper-liver that resulted from a lifetime of high-proof alcohol and pharmaceutical abuse (WHAT?), 598,000 jobs were lost in January. Sorry about your unemployed flipper-liver. Also, I want to point out that while unemployment payments won’t cover all your expenses, they still sell very inexpensive beers such as your Old Milwaukee, the beer of the Working Man. Or the non-Working Man, as the case may be.

After the jump, a somber contemplation of stupid people that sort of winds around for a while before connecting with news. By the end of the week, we’ll be back to bulleted lists of news items, I swear. Daily Briefs sponsored by cheap beer. Click here or here: