Daily Briefs: Proudly sponsored by Astroglide™

By CHRIS PACKHAM

Via Boing Boing — I know, I know — morning news anchors for Fox 5 News in Las Vegas share their desk with simulated cups of delicious-looking, but fake, McDonald’s coffee drinks, which are actually made out of some kind of plastic.%{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c3d89121ca96b95fa14″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}% According to The Las Vegas Sun, the anchors are not even supposed to acknowledge them, but the point is that the actual broadcasts of the news orgs are now legitimate vehicles for advertising. Speaking of which, Daily Briefs is proudly sponsored today by Coochy™ brand rash-free body-shave cream for women. For a smooth, sexy “special area,” try Coochy™.

Now that I’m no longer bound by journalistic propriety, Daily Briefs is going to contain enough advertising to support a NASCAR team. It’s already well under way! But unlike my televised brethren and cistern in Las Vegas, I am contractually bound to mention my advertisers in the body of my copy, and talk up their products a little bit. After the jump, help is on the way for lackadaisical parents. Click here, or else click on, and then buy, the Big Boy™ package-enhancing undergarment for men — “the original full basket undergarment” from the fine people at Gunoil. I’m wearing mine now — but you wouldn’t know it!

Categories: News