Daily Briefs: I think I heard somewhere that Sarah Palin is a Muslim

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By CHRIS PACKHAM

If I assembled a tag cloud of keywords from the letter I received from the National Weather Service this morning, it would include heavy use of the words “distasteful,” “regrettable,” “cease and desist,” “never in a million years” and “horrible human being.” So there goes my campaign to get federal meteorologists to start naming hurricanes after major diseases. If you heard that Hurricane Gonorrhea was approaching your city, wouldn’t you evacuate? They’re running out of hurricane names, and if they don’t alter their nomenclature policy now, they’re just going to wind up using made-up names, like pharmaceutical companies or fantasy novel titles. Hurricane NiQuitin CQ? YAWN. And I’m sorry, but I’d keep my political convention convened right the hell through Hurricane Gandalf, especially if it was about to destroy the childhood home of Piers Anthony.

As far as suspending my ongoing mail-in campaign to the National Weather Service, I’m an idea man, and if I kept all my ideas in my head, I’d get some kind of brain-based kidney stone. It just doesn’t sound healthy. After the jump, a correction and some business about Henry Rollins. Click here, or — because I can’t find a good photo of National Weather Service director Dr. John L. Hayes — click on this photo of Rutherford B. Hayes:

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