Daily Briefs: Hemispheric Confusion
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· Here is an example of a well-written lede in the AP news style: Jesus, John McCain, quit going around acting like such a senile old corpse already. I am the best at the impartial standards of journalism, WHERE IS THE PULITZER PRIZE PATROL WITH MY BALLOON BOUQUET? Yesterday, in a Spanish radio interview, McCain confused the prime minister of Spain, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, with some kind of a generic leftist Latin American dictator, as opposed to the leader of a NATO country, and maybe even temporarily thought Spain was in South America.
Look, I’m the first person to admit that I’m prone to exaggeration. But I swear to god that according to the transcript, this is exactly what happened. McCain’s actually doing an offensive Steppin Fetchit-grade impersonation of an Alzheimer’s patient, and that is not a disease to make fun of, you guys, how many Make-a-Wish children have we lost to amyloid plaque? It’s like actually seeing a baton-twirling fat cop eating a greasy box of doughnuts or a harpoon-carrying Eskimo eating a greasy box of whale blubber. STOP WITH THE STEREOTYPES. I never want to see another “rogue cop who delivers his own brand of justice.” Or a wise old black convict who seems unfriendly at first but gradually comes to realize that you are an innocent man. While we’re at it, no more archetypes, either, because that makes me think of dead mythologist Joseph Campbell, who the dorks inform me is singlehandedly responsible for fucking Star Wars.
After the jump, a continuation of Back to Basics Week. Click here, or on this map of Spain:
