Daily Briefs: Europe: The Forgotten Continent

%{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4989121ca96b961968″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%Secret society: I have got to become a “Hallmark Hipster,” you guys. There’s nothing that says “hipster” like Our Special Thoughts On the Occasion of Your 10th Wedding Anniversary. Unfortunately, my application to this very exclusive social networking site was rejected, just like my applications to the Georgetown University Alumni Association, Curves and the Heritage Foundation, so basically I’m still just a misunderstood outsider drifting from town to town with no visible means of support, helping downtrodden folks and running from the law, like Benji or the Incredible Hulk.

After the jump, a weirdly Eurocentric Daily Briefs. Sorry, bigots, it just kind of happened! Click here or on my new headshot, which we’ll be printing next to everything I write from now on: