Daily Briefs: Cry “Havoc” and let slip the fancy lads of war.

By CHRIS PACKHAM

%{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4289121ca96b960529″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%“What? There’s a collapse in the housing market? Get me Banjo on the line!“ I don’t give a damn about this article. But the fact that The Wall Street Journal employs a reporter named Shelly Banjo is fantastic. I can only assume that her job interview went in accordance with this brief re-enactment starring the Verne Troyer sex tape as Rupert Murdoch and introducing the Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage On a Stick as Shelly Banjo, girl reporter:

G’day, y’snagger two-bob Sheila. What’s y’name?

Shelly Banjo.

Fair suck of the sav! That’s a corker, ya bewdy-bottler mappa tassie! Strewth, yer hired!

What?

After the jump, if you can successfully read an entire synopsis of the Gloria Squitiro City Hall debacle, you can claim a WONDROUS PRIZE! Plus, watching fancy lads slap at each other is both funny and dispiriting. Click here, or on Shelly Banjo’s Banjo Marketwatch: