Daily Briefs: Apocalyptic scenarios, PLUS: the douchenozzle of Connecticut
By CHRIS PACKHAM
You’re dead, new fish! A Springfield woman was sentenced for her son’s David Benedek-grade X-treme truancy %{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c3b89121ca96b95f7b6″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%after he missed half of the 2006-07 school year. It’s about time that society cracked down on these law-flaunting moms with their sweatpants and their ugly Keds, but will her “shock time” behind bars be enough? I’m suggesting some kind of outright Scared Straight program for delinquent moms, whereby they’re gathered into one room where hardened convicts with facial tattoos and the distinctive eye-glaze conferred by anti-psychotic drugs scream at them about ass rape. Sorry, did I just say “ass rape”? Please let me make it up to you. After the jump, we indulge in some apocalyptic scenarios of varying degrees of plausibility, plus some discussion of everyone’s favorite senator. Click here or on this picture of what appears to be some kind of wrinkly turtle head sticking out of a business suit:
