Crankytown, 4th of July Installment

Predictably, this morning’s post-4th of July issue of The Kansas City Star had a front-page photo of an adorable kid all decked out in red, white and blue regalia. Inside, reporters Kevin Collison and Laura Uhlmansiek, two poor schlepps who were unfortunately on holiday duty, delivered the required holiday overview – in as clichéd, saccharine and hyper God-bless-America hues as possible. First gag reflex came three paragraphs in: “It was a day when kids wearing red, white and blue were introduced to an American tradition, and adults relaxed and enjoyed the familiar spectacle of marching bands, antique cars and perspiring politicians.”

Collison and Uhlmansiek hit the annual parade in Lenexa; the Village Fest in Prairie Village (where Navy SEALs jumped from a plane); a couple of fireworks displays; and Missouri Town 1855, where they encountered “traditional games and activities, including a watermelon seed-spitting contest, a pie-baking contest and an ice cream social.”

My patriotic moment was a little more real.