Concert Review: Chickenfoot at the Uptown Theater

Chickenfoot’s logo is a lazy rectilinear reinterpretation of a peace symbol, the “track of the American chicken,” in the parlance of the Teabaggers and the Ice Road Truckers, the  demographic cohort comprising the band’s core audience. “The ‘K’ is backward in the Chickenfoot logo,” Kansas City blogger Dave LaCrone pointed out when I told him about the band’s upcoming show at the Uptown Theater. “You should spell it that way in your review.” Clearly, Dave knows that my fondness for untypeable characters is as wide and deep as my love of battle rap, the “poetry of the streets.” Because of this deep insight into me, the things that interest me and how I might best express those interests to other people, I invited Dave to come along with me to the show.

I’m not going to exaggerate. Chicʞenfoot is pretty terrible in concert. But they’re not like the absolute towering monument of garbage you might hope for if you were a pair of irony-tourists. Or, to put it in battle rap terms,

Yo, Listen up, listen up,

You musta’ been pissin’ up

Drivin’ in your Kia while I’m ballin’ in my Hummer

You trippin’ on your words, I’m droppin’ beats like a drummer

Uncloggin’ your brain’s gonna take some Liquid Plumber

I heard your mama’s stupid, yo, but Chicʞenfoot is dumber.

Drop the mic.

There’s a Navajo saying that goes, “I set out one day to make friends. On that day, I made no enemies. Another day, I sat down to write a Chicʞenfoot review. On that day, I made no friends with Sammy Hagar.” Last night’s show, after the jump: