Clay Chastain almost rhymes with “Will Kane,” not even close to “Funkhouser”

It’s no wonder Clay Chastain settled on mass transit as his pet cause: A conversation with him is a bumpy ride over loose tracks, and only he decides when it’s over.

The best way to keep your blood pressure down when Chastain wants to talk — which lately is often, given that next week his light-rail boondoggle plan gets yet another day in court — is to send him to voice mail when his familiar Bedford, Virginia, phone number flashes on your phone.

Of course, that doesn’t work when Chastain calls The Pitch‘s switchboard and claims to be Mayor Mark Funkhouser.