Chicken Writ

The Chiefs’ 2-6 record isn’t the only reason Tim Grunhard is shaking his head about his former team. Forced into retirement after eleven years as the Chiefs’ center and eager apologist, Grunhard is now at a loss to explain the anonymous columnist dubbed Rufus Dawes on the Chiefs’ Web site. “That’s the kind of stuff that embarrasses me about the Chiefs organization,” Grunhard recently said to his WHB 810 radio audience. “The Chiefs are trying to cover up something that doesn’t need to be covered up.”

Rufus Dawes offers a weekly grumble against the Chiefs’ critics in the media, including fans who call talk radio. Presumably male, he gripes mostly about complainers who think the Chiefs should win. “Complaining is the real purpose [of sports talk radio], not perspective,” writes Dawes. “It’s gotten to the point that every team decision, every call in a game, every outcome in an event, indeed, every act in sports sends talk show hosts and their callers into paroxysms of idiocy.”

Incredibly, the Chiefs organization claims that people read this stuff. “It’s one of the most popular destinations on the site,” says Bob Moore, director of public relations. “As long as people keep reading him, we’ll probably have him there,” says Moore.

Moore himself is suspected of hiding behind Dawes’ phony byline. “I don’t have the interest in statistics to write his column,” says Moore. “I’ve heard some people say they think it’s Carl [Peterson] or Bob Gretz.”

The Chiefs purport that Dawes’ column is a statistically rich analysis that refutes media criticism of the Chiefs. But over the past year, Dawes’ column — like the team — hasn’t put up many stats. Instead, his words are verbal scuds aimed in the general direction of sportswriters and reporters. “One local media critic who just a few years ago lamented the Chiefs’ refusal to pass the ball in place of running it should be held accountable for his lack of conviction. Following his positions is like following a marble down a flight of concrete stairs,” writes Dawes.

Statistics? No. Spine? No. “He’s not allowed to insult anybody,” explains Moore, who also offers a Dawes-like dismissal of Grunhard’s criticism. “I find it interesting that people who are on talk radio are embarrassed by anything, let alone Rufus Dawes,” cracks Moore.

“It’s about winning football games, not worrying about all this other stuff that doesn’t matter,” replies Grunhard.

Bill Maas, the Chiefs’ former nose tackle and Grunhard’s cohost on 810’s Crunch Time, refers to Dawes as “Rufus Douche.” “Anything that is linked to the Chiefs’ PR department is so inept,” says Maas. “That guy that writes that [Rufus Dawes’ column] is the old Chiefs — don’t identify yourself, just hide behind things and throw out stuff.”

If Dick Vermeil and the Chiefs want to regain the respect of the National Football League and one of the most loyal, rabid fanbases in sports, they need to start by ridding themselves of Dawes’ column.

Do not expect the Chiefs to take this advice. “I find it interesting that people who criticize don’t like to be criticized,” says Moore. “As long as people are reading it, as long as it is correct and in good taste, why shouldn’t we run it?” Why? Because being 2-6 is bad — real bad — but promoting a joke like Rufus Dawes on the Chiefs’ Web site is much worse. It’s embarrassing and something the Chiefs can fix without trading for St. Louis’ wide receivers, Denver’s offensive line, Fresno State’s David Carr and Baltimore’s defense.