Charlie Sheen gets an unwanted visit from Kansas City, Kansas, man

In the last two weeks, Charlie Sheen has bent the media universe to his will so thoroughly that his fame now carries weight equal to the sun that he has so easily replaced as center of the universe. He is less a man than a singularity — a point of zero size and infinite density that even now drags us all inexorably into its dark heart. So why should we be surprised to hear that Kansas City, Kansas’ own David Pack was found on Sheen’s lawn in the middle of the night? This is the fate we all face now.

According to Radar,

Pack was found on the lawn by one of Sheen’s own security people and was

turned over to the LAPD. The real cops weren’t there for Pack. They were

coincidentally staging a surprise raid on Sheen’s home to look for

weapons that could violate a restraining order filed by estranged wife Brooke

Mueller. The report does not tell us whether Sheen himself is

considered a weapon.

Categories: News