Chainsaw Kittens

1/4-1/9
Boasting a smorgasbord of fishing, hunting and camping toys, the Kansas City Sportshow, which runs Tuesday, January 4, through Sunday, January 9, at Bartle Hall (301 West 13th Street), is in danger of being a flannel-shirt-dad droolfest. But thanks to the forest-felling vixens of Timber Tina’s World Champion Lumberjills, who demonstrate the womanly arts of log rolling, underhand chopping and ax throwing every two hours, local fishermen will put down their poles and instead picture their heads or, um, other parts falling victim to the swift swipe of a logger lady’s ax.Call 816-513-5000 or see www.kansascitysportshow.com. — Jason Harper

Hard Time
Yoga’s easier than prison, we guess.

SAT 1/1
We’ve done yoga. It’s not easy, nor particularly fun, and it takes a helluva lot of concentration. So it seems to us that a guy strumming a guitar in the corner and periodically sneaking peeks at the class’s collective ass might be distracting. But Morris Wisdom, director of Yoga Health and Fitness (15238 Broadmoor in Overland Park, 913-239-9642), disagrees. Wisdom has hired Chris Hudson to perform during the 7:30 p.m. session Saturday, and he’s even making us pay extra — it costs $20 instead of the regular $8 single-class fee. We doubt he’s swindling us, though, because he acknowledges a federal conviction of bank fraud on his Web site and says that yoga helped him realize he had been “wasting [his] efforts in pursuit of frivolous things.” Sign us up, yo.— Annie Fischer

Hounds of Winter
Do it doggy-style.

FRI 12/31
If your New Year’s resolution is to kick a gambling habit, why not have one last hurrah on New Year’s Eve at the Woodlands? It’ll be the absolute last time you plunk down a twenty spot on a greyhound that feels lucky, we swear. And remember, you still have a solid nine years before Taylor goes to college! Admission to the track on New Year’s Eve costs $35, which includes a buffet from 6 to 9 p.m. and live music all evening by the Big Woody Blues Band. There’s a cash bar and a champagne toast at midnight. All night the payout is tri-super mandatory, which means gamblers have a shot at a jackpot that’s been growing all month. The starting bell sounds at 6 p.m. Friday at the Woodlands, 9700 Leavenworth Road in Kansas City, Kansas. Call 913-596-5958. —Sarah Smarsh