Captured By Robots

Jason Vance loves his job — but his role in the Captured By Robots saga would break a lesser man. After all, he is enslaved by six robots (four of them bitchy, two sweet as sugar) and forced to go onstage, intestines spilling out of his shirt, and play soul and punk rock, accompanied, naturally, by his robot captors. According to the legend, Vance’s dislike of people prompted him to build the robots in the first place. Unfortunately, plans went awry, and GTRBOT666 and DRMBOT010 took him hostage and have been tormenting him ever since. The group is as much about the music its “members” create as the slapstick performance. Where else will a robot tell a human to fuck off or suck its balls? But back in reality, Vance’s obsession has kept him touring mercilessly for nine years, tinkering and fixing his enemies-slash-bandmates while driving back and forth across the country — only for the bastards to berate and injure him come show time. That’s devotion.