Be the Wolverine of the photocopier: Studies in Crap carves up How to Be a Business Superhero

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

​How to Be a Business Superhero

Author: Venture capitalist Sean Wise
Date: 2008
Discovered at: Half Price Books, Westport

The Cover Promises: Generic, clip-arty superheroes are much cheaper than the licensed ones.

Representative Quotes:

• “All Green Lanterns report to the blue-hued immortal Guardians of the Universe, so even while the individual patrolmen have virtual autonomy, in the end they each have a boss to report to. The same is true in business.” (page 55)

• “So how do Business Superheroes ensure they follow Professor Xavier’s example and not get caught up in the zealotry of Magneto? I suggest a three-pronged approach.” (page 199)

Look! Up in H.R.! In the goofy, self-important tradition of Jesus, CEO and Ronin: The Way of the Samauri, up bounds How to Be a Business Superhero, a two-fisted burst of you-are-not-a-drone workplace inspiration based upon an entirely specious comparison. As in all such books, this one insists that success in your office depends upon your ability to make-believe that you’re a character of legend – preferably one whose exploits have shit-all to do with business.

A self-professed comic geek who seems to have been bitten by a radioactive Chicken Soup for the Executive’s Soul, author Sean Wise suggests you find workplace inspiration in the spirit of superheroes like the Hulk, whose adventures stomping the U.S. military somehow teaches us this business secret: “Don’t Get Angry. . . . The best leaders (and business superheroes) are able to channel their feelings into more positive outcomes.”

So, no “ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT SMASH!” Instead, being a Business Superhero means that you model your life on the Hulk’s by being nothing like him.