Are You Ready For Some Pretend Football?

By CHRIS RASMUSSEN

Watching preseason football is, to borrow from Jerry Seinfeld, like rooting for laundry.

Football fans so eagerly await the season that we pay and watch the preseason, even when we know how inherently meaningless these games are.

If we’re lucky, starters last less than a quarter before they’re replaced by players

with unfamiliar names, numbers and backgrounds (“Pass caught by Oscar Jones from

Whatsamtta U with the uniform number signifying the elemental symbol of Hassium”). The announcers are also forgettable, even though Roger Twibell allegedly hosts a three-hour talk show in this town.