A blurry review of Josh Blue’s Dream Sucker

The author having a good time, all of the time. // Photo by Patrick Moore

Adult resistant Microsoft Paint packaging. // Photo by Patrick Moore

I felt like a real creep eating this thing. The last time I had a sucker was when I went to the pediatrician. But unlike the ones I got from Dr. Anderson, this one will get me high. The 30mg phallic cherry flavored edible was $15 and came from Mountain High Suckers. Prices will vary by dispensary, but either way, it’s going to cost you more than your average Tootsie pop.

I’ve tried some suckers before, but this one has the weirdest celebrity affiliation I’ve ever seen. Named “Josh Blue’s Dream Sucker,” it’s a sucker made with the Blue Dream strain and available in cherry, sour pineapple, watermelon, and blueberry.” The packaging looks like it was made on ’98 Microsoft Paint. The “child resistant packaging” is also adult resistant. I needed a machete to get it open.

I imagine most people are going to buy this one just because it’s cherry flavored. That’s what I did. It tastes like expired children’s cough medicine, if that’s what you’re looking for. The inside of my mouth was so red it looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog had been in my mouth, and I could taste him in the back of my throat for hours after. 

No one cares about how it looks and tastes. The most important thing is that it gets you high. I regularly consume 100-300mg of THC at a time, but the sucker still gave me a very nice and pleasant body high. Because it’s a sucker, you’re committed to consuming the whole thing at once, unlike when you buy gummies or a chocolate bar and can take 5-10mg at a time.  So, I would not recommend this as your first edible experience. For the more seasoned marijuana consumers, this could be a lot of fun.

My advice is to eat a cherry flavored Josh Blue’s Dream Sucker and watch Ambulance on demand. Get back to me in the morning.