Four Inane Questions with KANbucha’s Elliot Pees

Photo Courtesy of Elliot Pees

When Elliot Pees first tasted kombucha back in 2008, he was skeptical at best. He was—in a word—confused why anybody would drink it. But the tangy, effervescent tea grew on him, especially after his sister brought home a fruity, homemade batch that flipped the script.

Soon, the siblings were treating kombucha like a DIY science experiment, joking, “One a day, baby,” as their curiosity bubbled into obsession.

By 2010, Pees had turned his hobby into a full-fledged business. KANbucha—named as a nod to (you guessed it!) both Kansas and kombucha—became the first kombucha company in the state. Now, it’s a staple at the Lawrence Farmers Market and plenty of nearby vendors, including Enjoy Pure Food + Drink.

Pees continues to craft his small-batch brews with premium organic tea, glass fermentation vessels, and flavor combos that surprise even self-proclaimed kombucha skeptics. (Grape Cardamom, anyone?)

His love of fermentation aside, Pees says he’s found the perfect community to build KANbucha. He quickly discovered Lawrence was “a receptive place that would support an up-and-coming health beverage,” he once told the Lawrence Times.

We caught up with the libation maker extraordinaire recently to query him with our ridiculous questionnaire. Trust us, we left with much better gut health than when we arrived. Bless.

Photo Courtesy of Elliot Pees

The Pitch: What’s scarier—zombies, demons, or ghosts? Or ghost-zombie-demons? 

Elliot Pees: Ok, stop with the ghost-zombie-demon combo because I don’t want to be up all night. Great, now I have to see if I locked the front door.

Logically, demons are the scariest, and here’s why: a ghost doesn’t necessarily pose a threat and is proof of existence beyond death. A zombie is potentially just one simple cure away from returning to a normal human or returning to death.

But a demon, on the other hand, is existence beyond life. And he’s pissed off because I tried to fit in with the cool kids that one night they busted out the Ouija board.

If you were a mushroom, what mushroom would you be? 

A kombucha mushroom, of course! Actually, it’s a bit of a misnomer. When people say kombucha has a mushroom, they are referring to the pellicle that floats on top during the fermentation, which kinda does look like a mushroom! But really, the only connection to a mushroom the kombucha scoby has is that it contains yeast, which is a fungus… just like mushrooms.

So, kind of a reeeeeeeach, but it’s fun.

You just made a fortune with a bumper sticker. What was the money-making slogan (or phrasing) on said bumper sticker?

Photo Courtesy of Elliot Pees

The bumper sticker simply says, “[indistinct chatter].” It’s my favorite subtitle when watching a movie or show, and it really lets me know that, hey, there’s some chatter going on here, but you don’t really need to worry about all that.

It’s indistinct, and you couldn’t make out a word of it even if you pumped up the volume to 30, which, on my TV, causes my dog to leave the room.

What’s your favorite one-liner from a movie? (e.g., one actor who only has one line) 

I’m going to phone a friend.  My buddy Mr. C (we’ll call him) knows his movie quotes, and when I posed this question, he did not hesitate a single bit. He said to say, “Kick his ass, Seabass!!” from Dumb & Dumber.

Bonus 5th Question: What’s a karaoke song that needs to be banished from existence? 

“[indistinct chatter]”