Bad Sports
Ryan is eight years old. He sits high on a stool at McDonalds, dipping McNuggets in barbecue sauce. Twelve-year-old Josh stares at Ryan’s Royals cap from across the burger bar and snarls, “The Royals suck!” Ryan’s cheeks turn as red as the ketchup-bearing french fry he has just plopped in his mouth. Ryan answers with a whisper, “I know.”
These are difficult times for both Royals and Chiefs fans. Not only are the Royals closing in on the franchise’s worst-ever season record, but the Chiefs are off to their sorriest start in over twenty years. Before last Sunday’s 45-13 win over hapless Washington, the Chiefs were 0-2; not since 1993 has an NFL team made the playoffs with such a start. Next Sunday, the Chiefs head to Denver (last week the Broncos looked like the league’s second-best team), and no team that has started 1-3 has ever made the playoffs.
How did this happen? How did Kansas City, whose Royals ruled the American League during the ’70s and ’80s, whose Chiefs recorded more wins than any NFL team in the ’90s, turn into Kan’t City? How did Lucky Town evolve into Sucky Town? The problem is that Kansas City’s professional teams are reluctant to change — no matter how badly they need a makeover.
When Joe Montana led the Chiefs in the early ’90s, they were annual guests on ABC’s Monday Night Football. Last week, MNF color analyst Dan Fouts cracked, “Schedule the Kansas City Chiefs” when asked how Marty Schottenheimer could get his Washington Redskins untracked after an 0-2 start.
While coaching the Chiefs, Schottenheimer failed to win any playoff games after the 1993 season. As Schottenheimer’s post-season failures piled up, Carl Peterson and Lamar Hunt continued to renew his contract and perpetuate the Chiefs’ demise.
When Schottenheimer had assistants the likes of Tony Dungy and Bill Cowher — both now successful NFL head coaches — the Chiefs were special and wildly popular. After they moved on and Schottenheimer hired his brother Kurt, Jimmy Raye and Mike Stock to handle the assistant coaching chores, his team started losing, missing the playoffs and getting booed at Arrowhead.
It is obvious now how inept this former Chiefs’ brain trust is with its embarrassing 0-3 start as Washington’s coaching staff.
Carl Peterson has repeatedly said, “The only constant in the NFL is change.” That does not appear to be the case for Peterson himself in Kansas City. As the team’s president, general manager and CEO, Peterson has been the architect and decision maker throughout the Chiefs’ resurgence and downfall the past twelve years. Hunt handed Peterson a five-year contract extension last year despite the club’s 7-9 record. Hunt needs to turn the daily operation of his team over to his son Clark and allow him to hire his own GM. Hunt is never going to win another Super Bowl employing dinosaurs like Schottenheimer, Cunningham, Peterson and Vermeil, whose collective knowledge about football in the new millennium is not sufficient to fill even one walnut-sized brain.
The Royals are even stodgier than the Chiefs. Tony Muser not only hasn’t been able to put together a winning season; this sad sack hasn’t managed to pilot the Royals to a winning month in his four and a half years. Incredibly, David Glass staunchly stands behind Muser, telling the Kansas City Star Sunday, “Tony Muser is coming back (to manage the Royals in 2002).” Trade Johnny Damon, trade Jermaine Dye, but keep Tony Muser? Thank God Glass’ Wal Mart stores don’t have bakeries: He’d stock the bins with hard, moldy loaves and throw out the cake. Glass needs to sell the Royals to a competent owner who has the billfold to hire a real manager and pay the going rate for talented players.
Kids like Ryan will always root for the Royals and the Chiefs, no matter how many people make fun of their favorite teams. What is sad, though, is that it appears these two teams will continue to make their fans blush.
