Park Blame
Full court press: Regarding Casey Logan’s “Slab Happy” (August 7): Once again, I see the city leaders pandering to certain groups.
I do not skate, but I like to watch it. I play basketball, and most of the city’s courts are in terrible shape. They have large cracks that can contribute to ankle sprains, and none that I know of have lights. Parade Park is one where I see this glaring inequity. The tennis courts are being repaved, and the basketball courts have looked awful since I started playing there in 1996. There are no lights, there are cracks, and the rims remain slanted and unstable.
Sure, the skaters should have their park, but don’t basketball players deserve the same? Or are they being excluded because basketball players are from a less desirable ethnic group?
Rudolph Pieters
Kansas City, Missouri
El Torreador
Metal of honor: What can I say? The Pitch has finally done an article about OUR scene (Andrew Miller’s “Rebel Yell,” August 7). Descension has and always will be considered a metal band the punks love. We are closer with them, we sweat with them, we bleed with them, and we admire them all. This is the pulse of the city.
Brian Saunders and Abe Haddad have both helped this band. When Brian opens a new club, I’m the first there with a drill in my hand screwing up walls. Abe knows that I am also gonna play El Torreon and make damned sure that everyone knows it’s open. I hope the kids all come to the shows at both.
I wish the local metal scene could learn from these punk-scene kids. They have more heart and passion in one show than in five metal shows, and they SUPPORT one another. Too many metal fans bitch about lack of shows, but they NEVER support local metal bands; they only pay to see the SAME band like Evanescence or Mudvayne seven times in the same year.
What they said in the article about being punk was true — it’s not the music so much; it’s the attitude, the way things are handled: NO EGOS, NO BS and NO SLAGGING.
Thanks, Pitch, for bringing some light onto the scene and how hard these guys all work in it. Know this: If these kids aren’t allowed the proper showcase, the proper places to play, the scene here will dry up faster than you think. HAIL to the Punks and to the TRUE Underground — we’re with you every step of the way.
Astoroth Occultus
Kansas City, Missouri
L-U-V Handle
Point and clique: I read with interest Jen Chen’s article on dating and singles in Kansas City (“L-U-V Hangover,” July 31).
I have to agree that Kansas City is “cliquish.” I moved back to the Kansas City area following six years of traveling throughout the country in the Army. I developed a habit of going to bars — often by myself — wherever I went. I’ve had great success meeting new people going solo. I’m not talking about a “hookup” or Biblical sense of “meeting.” No, these were others excited to spend the night in animated conversation with someone new. Frequently, these solo excursions led to quick invitations to join a table of several friendly partygoers.
I’ve been single since moving back in 2000. A big part of the difficulty in meeting someone is this clique attitude. If I went to a bar solo expecting a group of fun friendly people, I would be disappointed. If Kansas Citians were more like those I’ve met in other cities, it would invariably lead to an expanding circle of friends. An expanding circle of friends leads to better “friend of a friend” possibilities. The difficulty lies in breaking into these cliques.
Having been to New York, Washington, D.C., Honolulu, San Antonio, Baltimore and Los Angeles, I have to say Kansas City is at the bottom of the pit of dating hell.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Credibility Gap: I totally agree with Jen Chen’s article. It’s hard to get a date here, especially if you are not the typical corn-fed, J. Crew soccer set. I find that guys like to date the “girl next door” here rather than someone who may actually be different and unique.
I am Asian and like to dress pretty damn trendy, and I hardly ever, ever get hit on. However, Ms. Gap will get hit on all night! What’s the deal? Maybe Chen should follow me around for a night out, and then the answers about why KC sucks will become crystal-clear.
Angie Johnson
Kansas City, Missouri
Outdated: I wanted to compliment Jen Chen on her recent article about dating in KC. I live in Lawrence but have dated some in KC, because if you think KC is difficult, just imagine not being a KU student and trying to date in a town the size of Lawrence. Even with KU here, it is difficult for anyone not looking to date in the 18-22 age range. I am forty and divorced and a KU faculty member, which only adds to my difficulties because I am apt to run into my students anywhere I go in Lawrence.
My take on all of this is that a person must (1) learn to accept and feel good about being single; (2) be patient; and (3) keep meeting people, all of which I think is consistent with the points in her article.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Prairie dust: Good research! The dating scene in KC sucks. My theory on KC is that Kansas is the problem — those rich, snobby bastards. (You know the ones.)
Name Withheld Upon Request
Female problems: I wasn’t impressed after reading “L-U-V Hangover.” It seemed fairly one-sided and didn’t mention the major factor for the growing number of singles in the KC area or this nation: a majority of overprivileged, sexist, selfish, bigoted, wacko and supremacist females. The mental abuse, lies and double standards these females can crank out is hell to any man. All this makes dating for a heterosexual nice guy very difficult.
Most nice guys like myself refuse to play these games any longer, and that only leaves the self-centered jerks for these women to date. This irritates and worsens an already skewed woman’s perspective.
I think Jen Chen had an opportunity to educate and inform readers, but she lacked the motivation to really research this subject possibly. Perhaps she knows the real reason and it’s too unthinkable to write about? I’d like to pass along a couple of URLs for her to take a look at: www.rulymob.com and niceguy.dearingfilm.com. The latter is a journal of a young, single, American male writing about his dating life. A more extreme site is www.angryharry.com, which is an anti-sexist-feminist site with information about a new men’s movement.
I hope she reads with an open mind and at least has a bit more understanding as to the single male’s dilemma that is destroying all the last remaining great, single, American men/boys. I’m one of them.
The truth be told, men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. People should stop promoting that there should be differences in communication between the sexes.
Wolfgang Willis
Shawnee, Kansas
Banana Republicans: One half-baked theory: The demographic of Forbes.com is well-educated, and most well-educated people are at least partially liberal. Most well-educated people in the Midwest have gone East or West for college and stayed for a career — as well as to date — because they want somebody they won’t be bored with in five years.
This selection pressure on the population of mature, eligible singles in the Midwest results in a predominance of Republicans on the dating circuit. Republicans are already boring. Dating in KC is lame.
Hey, Jen Chen, tell us about a scene that’s not about booze, not about the size of your business card, and not exploitative but organic; that would be challenging research and a real community service.
Name Withheld Upon Request
Kiss and tell: L-U-Ved Jen Chen’s article on being single in Kansas City.
I wholeheartedly agree that this is a “big small town” and that the degree of separation is low. However, the guy who said that presented it as a good thing. That’s the worst thing about Kansas City! I’m quite sure that I’ve dated, rejected, been rejected by or dated the friend/brother/cousin/uncle of every man in KC in my age range. It’s starting to feel a little incestuous.
And about the clique thing: Sure, there are some places like that (the Granfalloon, for example), but I meet people just about every time I go out, no matter where it is. Of course, I am outgoing. (I’ve been known to approach a table of cute guys and ask for a bite of their appetizer.) But you don’t have to be that bold/obnoxious to be meetable. Take these pointers: Don’t sit at a corner table huddled in a tight circle of friends. Don’t order from the waitress — make the trek to the bar. It’s a great chance to check for interesting faces without looking like you’re on the prowl. Don’t limit your socializing to people you potentially want to have sex with. Talk to anyone. Hell, this is Kansas City; chances are, they know and might introduce you to the person you’re really attracted to.
OK, so Kansas City doesn’t have enough single people, and no, there aren’t enough interesting places to meet them. But let’s take some responsibility for our own love life. Put on your khaki shorts, black T-shirt and flip-flops, and get out there and mingle!
Dana Vukas
Overland Park
