Y’allapalooza

It’s just as well Lollapalooza was scrapped; we didn’t even make the damned thing’s itinerary. No, the palooza we get is Y’allapalooza, a 100 percent y’allternative-free country-music marathon headlined by Tracy Lawrence (pictured) and Clay Walker. Considering the two haven’t made real waves in a decade or so, it seems strange that either would score top billing when the future of country music is Josh Gracin, the third-stringer on the main stage and 2003’s fourth-place finisher on American Idol. Let us all use our AT&T Wireless phones to text-message the word vote to KBEQ 104.3 (Young Country) and democratically voice who will be the real star of this show. Then we’ll call Perry Farrell and tell him that heartache is what happens when you try to sell the String Cheese Incident to Morrissey and Sonic Youth fans, cowboy.