Daily Briefs: Longer and less frequent than the name implies

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The news anchors have all been talking in very scary voices lately. They all sound like Jigsaw, and you’re handcuffed to a sink in a grimy concrete bathroom and if you want to survive, you’re going to have to do something horrible, like naked-hug Larry King or some damn thing. As an antidote to the swine flu scare, all I can offer you is the serenity that comes from not talking about it. After the jump, a news roundup of items that bear no relation to stories about flu, or to each other. Click here or on America’s favorite pastime, video games: