2007: The Year’s Best Song Performed by a Passive-Aggressive Artificial Intelligence

By CHRIS PACKHAM

The hitherto unrecognized obsessive compulsive streak in the Jungian collective unconscious is apparent in the tendency of internet folk to compile lists. The whole unfunny fucking output of Cracked.com consists of nothing but Digg-bait lists of things they saw on TV. Note to Cracked.com editors: Making jokes about your own site’s tendency to compose every article in the form of a list does not excuse you from doing it. Believe me – if I went around all goddamn day making jokes about my compulsive peeping behavior, the state wouldn’t all-of-a-sudden start letting me live near parks or schools.

Therefore, this won’t be a list of the year’s best songs — not just because I hate lists, but also because I can only think of one song that I’ve listened to over and over again that actually came out in 2007. And you won’t hear it on the radio, unless your radio magically picks up the transmissions of soundly defeated video game boss monsters.