Trivial Pursuits

I don’t like bar trivia. There’s no good place in the room when a trivia game is going on. Either you’re on the losing team, feeling stupid; or you’re on the winning team, absorbing everyone’s hate energy; or you’re on a middle-place team, anxious about catching up. Or, worst of all, you’re not on any team — you just came to have a drink and get some food and chat with your mates, but you inevitably become a trivia spectator, a vicarious ghost player, unable to tune out the questions and tell yourself you don’t care about the answers. It’s the only thing more excrutiating than being a Royals fan.

Nonetheless, I have thrown my hat into the ring on occasion, and I probably will again. As of last Wednesday, I can now boast of having participated at least once in each of Midtown’s main trivia nights — Trivia Riot at the Brick on Fridays, Trivia Clash at the Record Bar on Thursdays and Trivia, um…Something at the Westport Flea Market on Wednesdays. Wait a minute, I haven’t actually done Clash, but my wife has, several times, and her team even won once. Yeah, wife! Also, I am well acquainted with that night’s host, Pat Hopewell, and his assistant, the formidable Forester. I like the trivia night at the Flea Market the best because, well, my team won. Unlike Clash and Riot, there is no “rioting” or “clashing” (which is when you challenge another team to get the question right and if they don’t, you get the points) at this pub quiz, and no final jeopardy round where you gamble points on the last question. So, if you like a little strategy (and the chance to intimidate people even more) with your trivia, go to the Brick or the Record Bar. If you like a more laid-back setup, head to the Flea Market. Each one costs $5 per person to enter, and at all three, both the first- and second-place teams take home cash.

Or, if you’re an insecure prick like me who can’t stand being reminded repeatedly of his own ignorance, then stay away from all three.