Tonight: Where’s the afterparty?

April 7 is upon us, the Clash of the Options: Morrissey, Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Aterciopelados, the Ting Tings … Bonnie “Philly” Glass. Of course, you’ve already decided by now which, if any, you’re gonna see. What we wanna know is, where’s the afterparty?

We know the Morrissey afterparty is at the Riot Room, with Queens Club, the Feverbell, Now Now Sleepyhead and the Arcane — and we also know we haven’t heard of half those bands.

We also know that Bonnie “Beware” Oldham will be holding a special afterparty on his tour bus after the show, but there are a few conditions. First, only one (1) raccon and two (2) pairs of 18-year-old (must show ID) twin sisters who weigh between 180 and 220 lbs. combined will be admitted. Attendees must provide their own kraut juice and may under no circumstances talk about what went on at the party, under pain of Oldham appearing on the day of their first child’s birth (or first litter, in case of raccoon), and snatching their offspring away to his couch fort.

But what else is going on? What about stuff not related to any of these bloody shows? Let a mofo know.