‘Undiluted Maleness’: Studies in Crap presents the hunks of Harlequin Romances!

​Forget the spicy pirates of the Fabio days!

Today’s lover of paperback romances demands men of today! Men as wealthy as Warren Buffet, as jet-setting as Aristotle Onassis, and as Tea-Party wholesome as Scott Brown, whose Cosmo spread is just a cowboy hat away from making a perfect cover for Harlequin’s “American Romance” series.

Of course, outside of Curt Schilling or Sean Hannity, you just don’t find all these traits in one man. That’s why the match-makers at Harlequin have labeled their choices for you in taste-specific imprints like “MEN: Made in America,” “International Billionaires” and the much, much dirtier “Nights of Passion.” My big surprise: turns out Harlequins are the only thing Wal-Mart sells that’s *proud* to be international.

Your Crap Archivist recently passed several pleasurable hours getting acquainted with the hunks of Harlequin’s specialty series on the floor of a used-book store. This Valentine’s Day weekend, why not hunker down with us and meet the virgin’s ruthless billionaire and two other sensual, unforgettable men?