Daily Briefs: Why don’t you shake your hot little ass in here and fix the copier?

By CHRIS PACKHAM

%{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4889121ca96b961429″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}% Kansas City’s Hispanic population is growing four times faster than the overall population growth, according to prolapsed local TV news orifice WDAF Fox 4. Yeah, yeah, this is likely to annoy the racists. If I were an exaggerating man, I’d predict calls for English-only everything, including Spanish classes, increasing immigration from Denmark and surrounding the state of Missouri with a border wall made out of the millions of unsold copies of Rare Software’s Viva Piňata for the Xbox 360. You see how that works? Just escalate anyone’s arguments until they seem ridiculous. Tip: It doesn’t work only with racists; you can do it to normal people, too. But you know what? If a higher Mexican population means even more importing of Mexican-bottled Coca-Cola, which is made with actual sugar rather than WD-40-flavored corn syrup-based sweetener, then hey, suck it, racists. There’s a reason why the bad guys in action movies from the 1980s were always presented as racists, and that’s because it makes their inevitable violent deaths more satisfying. After yours, I will pour out a sugar-sweetened Mexican Coca-Cola for all my dead racist homies.

After the jump, an exploration of sexxxy workplace harassment and how it can affect your relationship with lawyers. Click here, or on the plaintiffs from your workplace sexual harassment suit: