Daily Briefs: Economic news and a sincere letter of apology

By CHRIS PACKHAM

I say, have you noticed the sheer, amazing proliferation of Starbucks coffee purveyors? %{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4689121ca96b96132d” data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%Four area Starbucks stores are closing, including the location inside the H&R Block building downtown. HAHAHA, those things are everywhere, how psychotically crazy is that? Someone should really get around to writing something funny about a Starbucks being across the street from a Starbucks, that seems like pretty fertile comedic territory. What’s that? What is this “The Onion” you speak of? But seriously: There sure are a lot of Starbucks stores. Also, New York people and Los Angeles people be different.

Speaking of the shitty economy: KMBC, a Kansas City ABC network affiliate and the hot new catch-phrase stealing America’s black, shriveled heart, has this story about how excellent the housing crisis has been for the repo men, the unsung heroes who don’t want to have to beat you with the Louisville Sluggers they carry under their truck seats. So just stand in your doorway, please, and watch while they tow away the Ford F-series Super-Duty pickup you bought back when you thought housing prices had no ceiling and that home equity loans constituted income. This segment should have been titled, “Repo Men: America’s Quiet Douchebags.” Although, I think this is a growing industry

In a violation of the relationship we’ve established over several months, this is really late today. After the jump, a letter of explanation and an apology. Here’s a preview: I was savagely beaten on the street by a beloved American actor and the lead singer of a popular band. Click here, or on this picture of a novelty miniature version of Britney Spears: