Daily Briefs: JUST ONE MOMENT OF YOUR TIME PLEASE!!
Will you be my cyberpal? Daily Briefs is looking to connect with you, the urbane and (hopefully) sexily underage reader with negligent parents, Juicy-brand shorts and a taste for Mike’s Hard Lemonade. %{[ data-embed-type=”image” data-embed-id=”57150c4589121ca96b960cd8″ data-embed-element=”aside” ]}%So we’ve established a Daily Briefs Facebook presence to connect with readers. There are many hundreds of benefits to befriendstering the Daily Briefs Facebook, some of which may be valuable prizes but most of which will consist of me writing “hay whuddup, ur sexxxy” on your Facebook wall. As an incentive to add Daily Briefs as your new internet pal, the profile contains contact information for any invective-breathing commenters who want to tell me about the unacceptable quality of my writing in person. To demonstrate my very real, very sincere sincerity about my desire for long-distance friendship with the potential for something more, I’ve composed the following poem about friendship:
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There’s been so many times where I’ve needed you as my friend,
No matter what the reason is, you’ll be there til the end!!!!
Everytime I need to talk or when I feel so sad and blue,
you understand, your honest and you give you’re point of view!!!
If you ever need any thing, any time day or nite
I promise I will be there to try and make it rite!!!
I hope I can truely do for you all the things you’ve done for me,
Cause a bestest Fritch is what you will forever all ways be!!!!!!!!!
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After the jump, some editorial embarrassment at the Star, and Barack Obama’s growing lead in the polls, despite the media’s adorably childlike pretense of a horse race. Click here, or on this little token of my friendship, which I will deliver in person whenever your parents are at work:
