Kansas man doesn’t want to pay $275 fine for kicking gull’s ass

No one steals ice cream from Dragan Djuric’s wife. Not without receiving a severe beat down, which one really unlucky gull found out on New Year’s Eve in Laguna Beach.

Djuric and his wife were enjoying frozen treats when a greedy gull swooped in and stole his wife’s ice cream. Being a man of action, Djuric grabbed a stick and started swinging, breaking one of the gull’s wings. Except Djuric messed with the wrong kind of gull. This was a rare species, which did not please the ice cream stealing rare bird enablers at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. They fined Djuric $275, overlooking Djuric’s claims of self-defense.

Now, Djuric is appealing the fine, a brilliant move sure to keep his man-against-nature fight in news of the weird sections in papers across the country. Take that, gulls.