Funkhouser and Squitiro continue TV tour on cable

Scott Wilson,

Today Fox News, tomorrow the world. After yesterday’s belated Good Morning America visit with an unfortunately spasmodic Diane Sawyer, Mayor Funkhouser and wife Mary Todd Lincoln Gloria Squitiro showed up this morning on Fox News’ Fox & Friends. (Co-host Gretchen Carlson called Squitiro “a trailblazer,” causing Bella Abzug‘s ghost to spit out her Boo Berry.

Other stops this week on the Mammy Streak Press Tour:
 

  • A full hour on Spike TV’s Manswers
  • A pingpong match on ESPN Deportes
  • Gloria introduces a special screening of She Fought Alone on the Lifetime Movie Channel
  • Newlywed Game marathon on Game Show Network
  • The Real World: Funk’s Porch on MTV (wait for the black cast member to get thrown out)
  • Italian cooking with tears on Fit TV
  • Sketch artists compete to draw Funkhouser and Squitiro on Court TV
  • The first couple introduces a General Hospital Luke and Laura marathon on SoapNet
  • Gloria and Funk learn racial sensitivity and get God, brah, on A&E’s Dog the Bounty Hunter
  • Gloria hunts naked balls on the National Geographic Channel
  • Gloria leads a birth-coaching lesson on the Sci-Fi Channel
  • Funk gets game on VH1’s The Pick-Up Artist
  • Sharon Osbourne slaps Gloria on Charm School
  • Gloria compares herself to the rest of the Army Wives
  • Hurricane Gloria visits the Weather Channel
  • Mike Rowe refuses to do Gloria’s Dirty Jobs; Discovery forced to cancel Dirty Jobs

Check local listings.

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