The Coming Weekend, Revealed by Lord Magnus Tuareg, Time Traveler From Next Week

O PEOPLE OF LAST WEEK! I am Lord Magnus Tuareg, and I bring you a message from the future date of Monday, September 17, 2007. Heed what I say, my ancestors, for the coming weekend is SO CRAZY SICK YOU ARE TOTALLY GOING TO WIG OUT.

And yet I am unable to rejoice – for me, Saturday shall be a day of woe.